A Postpartum Poem | Mama Bird Doula

I am flattened
By the birth of my second child. 
Before she sparked in my womb
I stood tall
And strong. 
The world was on my terms
And I a woman of passion
Not to mention
Of means. 

Now I see myself
In my new
Vulnerability. 
Panic fluttering in my heart
As she nurses at the breast. 
Echoing over and over again
A fool
I put my safety in something
That did not exist
Does not exist
If it ever did. 

Did my great-grandmother
Feel like this? 
Did she roll up her sleeves
And get on with it? 
I know that she did. 
They tell me of it. 
It didn't have to be me
We women have more options
Than we did before. 

And yet still I am still rendered immobile and weak.