To My Son On Father's Day | Mama Bird Doula

To you, the world is a world of women. Is run by women. Women who cuddle and wipe noses and go on adventures. Of grandmas and nannys and auntie Julies and auntie Pips. I see the baby's wide eyes as a man speaks, those rare times we encounter them.

The way we live is not wrong.

Still, my heart does hurt somewhat when you speaks of going to your "children's mummy's house" when you are a man. You have no idea that things for other children are so different.

My darling, the most wonderful men I know were raised by single mothers.

What sort of dad will you be, my son?

When you ask me why I did not birth you at home, when you laugh at the baby latching onto your nose confusing you for boobies, when you tell me you just love her too much, you can't cope.

I want to preserve your sweetness.

My son, you who I poured my love into in those crucial years, wanting you to be safe and whole.

To be a man who loves women.

There is a mistaken belief that a man can mistreat women and still be a good father. Children and women are intrinsically linked, two vulnerable groups, biologically entwined, inseparable...

I cannot show you how to be a good father. 

My greatest wish - I want the mother of your children to feel safe with you. To feel respected by you.

That is how you are able to be the man your children need.