Doulas Are Not The Fluffy Bunnies Of The Birth World | Mama Bird Doula

Lately I really think some people have this misconception that doulas sweep in with our essential oils and our birth pools, selling a dream, that we give false expectations to women, that we tell them to ignore any attempt at medicalisation of their birth, that we are the woo woo fluffy bunnies of the birth world.

I wanted to set something straight.

Doulas are often the only ones telling it like it really is.

The doulas I know blog about stillbirth, abuse and birth trauma. The things others would rather not think about.

We urge our clients to make not one, but three birth plans, to consider every eventuality to make sure their wishes are followed whatever happens. Because we know that it does and we aren't afraid to admit it.

For educating our clients about things like assisted delivery ahead of labour, we are told by medical staff that we are "scaring" women.

The doulas I know spend hours combing through guidelines and evidence to make sure women know exactly what their rights are.

We manage microaggressions in the birth room and try to keep the peace.

We support women through terminations.

We help to pick up the pieces afterwards when the medical staff go home believing they have saved the day.

From where I am standing, doulas are the ones with enough respect for women that we make them aware of the whole spectrum of birth - from the dark to the light - in all its beauty and its pain.

We don't try to hide it or use it to scare women into compliance.

We may look fluffy, but we are fierce.