Memories | Mama Bird Doula

Memories come back to me of who I was before I was a mother.

I remarked to a friend recently - all I have left for myself is my body. And even that I have to share.

I was the girl with the ringlets who lived in the top floor flat and used a teapot, who loved cats. Nights out would leave me feeling overwhelmed and you would usually find me in a cupboard or under a table somewhere.

I worked long hours, worked hard, smiled at customers, took long baths. Smoking, drinking, day trips, bike shop, party nights, mattress on the floor, riding my bike down Ninian Road in the cold autumn air.

Maybe you can relate to some of this or maybe your story is different. Maybe you can't identify me in the above description at all.

In just a few years time I was transformed into a single mother of two, a business owner, an abuse survivor and advocate.

I wouldn't change a thing about this journey. I honour the girl that I was. When preparing for birth we often have moments of self doubt - the girl on the bike could never have dreamed that she would birth her baby into her own arms unaided and hold space for other women to find their power.

You are all your incarnations and you are better - motherhood is the ultimate opportunity to discover what you are capable of, that you can achieve what you hardly dare to dream of.

Challenge the notion that it's about what you give up.

It's about what you become.